tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2727385194202256143.post700934963589170166..comments2023-08-23T12:09:14.042-05:00Comments on Sliding Through the Mind of Me...: Four Years and Counting...Brian Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11111268898382335780noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2727385194202256143.post-20756260620225834842020-12-22T21:55:05.860-06:002020-12-22T21:55:05.860-06:00Hi Brenda. Sorry that my blog brought tears... hop...Hi Brenda. Sorry that my blog brought tears... hopefully in the long run they helped. And as to you thinking you were rambling, so what? Sometimes we need to do that too. Emotions during these time some out In all sorts of odd ways and places. Especially with the added layers because of covid. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if is came out of my ear in an ear wax sculpture. :)<br /><br />I understand about family members with cancer. Lost my father to colon cancer that mets to his liver. He was 51 when he died in 1986. I was 22. My mother had cancer 5 times between the late 60s and 2017 when we lost her. Both grandmothers, a few uncles and aunts... it is all over my family. So I have the guilt on that side plus feeling guilty on the FB pages reading all those posts about lost loved ones. What turns my thinking is this... maybe my surviving and talking about it might give some hope in a dark time for someone. See, to me, even if someone ends up losing the fight, the fight is the thing. If you can fight to the end you're a winner to me. As difficult as that may be to see at the time. There are many ways to fight too... so honestly, everyone with cancer is a fighter and I am proud of each and every one...<br /><br />Thank you for the input. Feel free to reach out to me again. :)<br /><br />BrianBrian Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11111268898382335780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2727385194202256143.post-66149633218307896262020-12-18T20:37:57.761-06:002020-12-18T20:37:57.761-06:00I'm crying already!! I can do relate to many o...I'm crying already!! I can do relate to many of the things you listed... Survivors guilt is a huge one. I had an uncle who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a month before I was diagnosed with my EC. About a month after my diagnosis, his wife, my aunt, was diagnosed with lung cancer... My uncle and I are doing quite well under the circumstances... My aunt died in October... It's hard to be happy. And the weight loss! I too was a very large person and I've lost nearly 150 pounds. It SUCKS that I'm "healthier" today because of cancer. It makes me angry!! So much so I've said I want the old fat Brenda back! And the eating habits... I think I'll NEVER get used to them! I've told people it's not fair. EVERY Dr I've seen have all asked the same questions and they have all said the same thing, "There is no reason you have this cancer... And yet you do." I tell my friends it's like food was my drug of choice and I have had to quit, cold turkey, while everyone around me gets to continue doing MY DRUG in front of me... I get angry about THAT, too... And, as you can tell, feel sorry for myself!<br />Sorry, I'm rambling... Brenda_Leenoreply@blogger.com